To help people picture the work of evangelism I envision for the church, I liken the church to a building with three doorways. For our church to do evangelism outreach there are three doors our church has to open and use to invite people in.
1. The front door is for reaching out to the lost in our community through direct evangelistic effort.
2. The side door involves an indirect evangelistic approach. This method involves getting new people interested through programs, events, and functions that are mainly for present membership. The membership invites their friends and relatives to such church events. Hopefully, the invited guest likes what he or she sees and takes another look.
3. The last door is the back door. This form of evangelism is reaching out to those who used to be members, especially targeting those who are not attending any church at this time.
The rest of this article is about a way to do back door evangelism. We must ask ourselves why people who for years had attended our (or any fellowship or denomination) fellowship regularly, some even in offices of responsibility, are now not attending any church at all. We can justify in our minds that one could leave our fellowship to go to another church that more fulfills his or her needs or theological understanding of the Bible, but to just sit home and not go anywhere after years of faithful attendance blows our collective minds. We must come to realize that these people have been deeply hurt by our church. They, like us, have come to believe that the church was wrong in the past. When the church came to the realization that it was wrong, we changed and kept going. Others could not, for a variety of reasons, make that change. The admitted wrong of the church deeply hurt them. They became bitter and built walls to try to prevent further hurt. This wall means they are now afraid to come back or go to another organized church, for fear of getting hurt again. How do we minister to those who now see church life as a bad rather than a good thing?
Do not stop association with your friend. He or she will need your friendship more now than ever. Do not think that to shun your friend will somehow bring him or her back to church. Your friend is in a very precarious spot in his or her spiritual walk. Straying from the flock is an open invitation for the predators to attack, although to tell him or her that news at this time will only make matters worse. What your friend needs now is for you to continue to be his or her friend. As he or she becomes comfortable with the fact that you are not going to badger him or her to return, your friend may open up to you about the hurt.
Be a good listener. Ask your friend to explain the source of the hurt, and then listen without immediately giving a remedy. Some people have kept this hurt inside for years. Sometimes it's over petty issues, and speaking it out loud helps a person see that. If they still don't see this by themselves, don't be critical or judgmental and label it as petty.
Empathize. "It must feel terrible to want to be loved by church people and instead be rejected" is an empathetic statement. Statements like "You must forgive" only add to the hurt. Share the valuable lessons God has taught you through you own hurtful experience with Worldwide Church of God's past position.
Restate you friend's conclusion. "So you're saying you believe all organized religion is bad because of your experience with Worldwide's previous position?" Your friend may disagree and realize he or she has judged all churches and the Worldwide Church of God of the present on the basis of experiences of the past.
Deal with the anger. Often a person blames God for the actions of His followers or self–proclaimed leaders of His church. Is your friend angry with God or with a person? Remind your friend God also grieves when His children hurt one another.
Look for positives. Ask, "Are you able to tell me good things that happened during your years at Worldwide?" Your friend may be surprised as he or she remembers positive aspects of church life, because the hurt may have overshadowed them.
Pray with your friend. Help him or her focus on forgiving those in the body of Christ who hurt him or her, asking God to work in his or her life. In prayer, express God's great love and His desire to bless him or her when he or she returns to church life.
Don't make unrealistic promises. Saying, "Our church has changed. If you come back to our church now that will never happen again" is a promise you can't keep. Instead, remind your friend there are many wounded people in churches, and hurting people often hurt others. You might say, "I can promise that if you come back fully to church life, God can use you in a mighty way to reach other hurting people."
Give your friend time. Often it has taken years for bitterness to build. Letting go of it doesn't happen overnight. Invite the person to attend non-threatening events at church or a home Bible study with you. Celebrate each small move back toward church life.